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Showing posts from April, 2010

Fantasy – Finale

I felt your hand on my back, and with it I started feeling the rest of my body.  I had been so focused on the sensations of your fingers inside me that I’d lost track of everything else.  I couldn’t tell you how much time you’d spend gently opening me up.  Time really had no meaning.  I could tell you that my dick, soft now, was drooling ribbons of precum.  I could feel it against the skin of my thigh, where it had dripped down to pool on the comforter.  “How are you feeling?”  Simple question.  But I struggled to put words to what I was feeling.  My heart was pounding, and I was flushed.  And I wanted, desperately, to feel you inside me.  I wanted to feel the warmth of you, not just your fingers.  “Please… fuck me.” It came out as a whisper.  I felt you kiss the small of my back. “You sure boy?”  “Yes sir, please.” A little more volume.  I was still afraid.  Afraid of the pain, yes.  But afraid I w...

A fantasy, continued

The entire time I’ve been on my knees, sucking you, my dick has been hard in my jeans.  My dick is so wet, precum oozing into my shorts.  Shifting my hips, I can feel it slide against the wet fabric.  I’m turned on enough that I need to take a moment.  I gently pull back from your cock, burying my face in the crook of your thigh.  Breathing you in.  I can feel your hard dick against the side of my face.  It feel hot, wet with my spit and your precum.  I’m a little afraid of what comes next.  Afraid because I’m not experienced, because you’re not small, and because I want what comes next so badly.  I can hear you breathing hard too.  I hope that means you’re enjoying this as much as I am.  I take a few moments, stroking the skin of your thigh, cupping the weight of your balls.  Gently, I start to nuzzle your balls… gently drawing one into my mouth.  I suck on it gently, feeling its heat and weight on my tongue. ...

A little fantasy

You know, I’ve tried to avoid too much in the realm of fantasies on here – relying instead on the ‘real.’  Something started in my head last night, and it’s been on my mind all day.  Furthered by a certain friend, and a certain gift, and a certain set of pictures.  Bear with me (or, you know, bare… with me). ~~~Addenda, I hadn’t planned on this being a serial, but, um… I’m in my hotel room, standing at the window, looking out on a scene of twilight. The door, as we’ve agreed, is unlocked.  I hear a light knocking, then the door opens quietly and I hear you walk in.  There’s light in the room, not bright light, just enough to see by. I’m in a pair of jeans and a t-shirt.  I don’t turn around, but I hear you move closer. I feel your arms wrap around me, under my arms and up over my chest.  I feel your lips on my neck, warm, dry.  I can feel my breathing quicken. I reach up, putting my hands on yours, pulling  you in around me – effectiv...

A little “me” time…

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It has been a little stressful or late, mostly job related and – in that context – mostly personality related.  Shit happens, welcome to middle school.  In any event, it’s left me feeling angry, and frustrated, and more than a bit aggressive.  These are not good things, in combination, most of the time.  Certainly haven’t left me feeling like exploring.  Instead, I’ve been more apt to watch a vid, get off, wipe off, and go to bed.  I consciously wanted to change that.  After a bike ride, I decided that a bath would be therapeutic in a lot of ways.  There’s the purely physical part of warming, and relaxing the muscles I’d used.  There’s the mental part of sitting still, somewhere comfortable.  I even did the candle bit.  Then there’s the sensual part.  Soapy, warm water can feel so good on your skin.  The currents (cause who really sits stock still in the bath) can be soothing or just a little titillating.  Depends o...

A new viewpoint

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So… what trips my trigger

The last couple of blog posts have been so… experiential… but clinical.  I need a break from that.  I want to indulge myself, bear with me, in some ‘what if?’ I love men.  No, not all men.  Yes, they may be created equally, but I’m not entirely immune to certain charms. These are things that I find attractive, but never – NEVER – does a man possessing or not possessing one of these items make me blind to his other features/attributes/strengths/ weaknesses.  I tend to be a ‘whole package’ kinda guy.  So, while I’m going to list some things… take them with a grain of salt. Dark hair – doesn’t have to be black, in fact black hair doesn’t work for me so much.  Brown, warm brown works.  Dirty blond works, too.  Eyes – more about the shape than the color.  Strike that, more about the intelligence behind them than either color or shape. Lips – I will describe my ideal as ‘kissable’ lips, some substance.  <sigh> F...

Yes, another toy post

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Perhaps “Yet another…” would be a better title. I will preface this by saying that I may, just might have, tried to move ahead too quickly.  No, no damage.  I tend to be one of those guys that, when I get a mind to, I’m pretty single-minded.  The past couple of weeks have been about expanding my anal horizons.  (hence the blog title, at least in part).  I’m also a cautious guy – and that basically means the focus is, at least in the short term, on toys.  They fascinate me.  I recall a time when toys were, um, well… I will call them utilitarian.  Kinda slapped together.  That has apparently changed a great deal.  Concentrating, as I said, on toys has resulted in a fair amount of shopping.  A friend pointed me to Stockroom.com, and I’ve been very pleased by the results.  Two of the items purchased have already been discussed in previous posts.  I think one of my learnings through all of this is that, at least for me, it’...

The ‘new’ toy…

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Ok, not sure what it says about me that I just get my first ‘real’ toy and then turn around and by another.  This one was, well, different.  The experience, also, different.  The new toy is along the lines of anal beads, but with a twist.  There’s a second ‘branch,’ if you will… the toy is designed such that, when the beads (there are three of them) are firmly inserted, the second branch rest against the taint.  I am, apparently, a big fan of the taint.  More on that later. The balls are not huge, in fact they start out very small.  In spite of that, I watned to start out slowly – to pace myself.  I didn’t want to overdo.  Still not sure exactly what my limits are, but I’m keeping it to the ‘less is more’ approach.  I’m afraid of hurting myself, and abandoning this new found experience.  I started, as before, by cleaning out.  I’m finding that process to be a lot less stressful that it once was.  In a way, it was t...

Dreaming & Memory

So… I had a dream last night.  Really, it was more like early this morning.  Like a bunch of dreams I have, I don’t think it would ahve been memorable.  Started out innocuously enough, at least what I remember of it.  Some sort of house party.  Not, you know, like ‘college’ house party.  More like, here’s a bunch of neighbors getting together.  Kinda quiet, kinda older set.  Where I remember the dream, it picks up with me sitting in someone’s living room, on a sofa.  I guess the party was winding down – I recall it still being light out – because I stood up and went, I presume, to say my goodbyes. To take my leave, if you will.  I recall going into a kitchen/family room.  Still pretty usual.  Then I saw this guy, one of the host couple – his wife was also in the room.  He’s talking and he sees me.  He comes over, as if to say good bye.  He looks me in the eye and smiles.  He had dark hair, and was wearing ti...

Furthering ‘the plan’

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I’ve always been…

Shy.  I know that there are people in my life who find that amusing.  Put me in a room with people I know, and a few beers, and I’m chatty-fucking-Kathy.  But, you put me in a situation where I’m among people I’m not familiar with… and I, most times, have turned into a wall flower.  I’m working on that. Recent history – I’ve started getting to a point where I feel more comfortable putting myself out there.  What does that mean?  That I’m horny, and I want to get laid.  You cannot get laid if you do not put yourself out there. Well, almost… you can pay.  I've done that in the past.  Not often, but I don’t see a problem with it.  It’s paying for a fantasy.  What I’m starting to find – after a fairly impressive amount of weight loss – is that I want to meet people, have sex, and not pay for it.  Interestingly, one paid experience recently gave me more confidence to go out and meet guys. My birthday is early in march, and as is...