I keep waiting

I keep waiting for you to stop caring.  The sad part is that it’s been the hallmark of our ‘relationship’ this expectation… like I need you so much more than you need me. 

I don’t think you ever realized how important you’ve become to me.  So much of our time was spent talking about what was going on in your life—not that I begrudge you that.  You have been dealing with a bunch of stuff—stuff that I don’t envy you at all. it’s just that, really, you were the only friend I felt I had in Seattle.  You were he one I wanted to spend my time with—no so much out of desperation for another person in my life, though.  You were the one that mattered.  You… I feel… I love you.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Been on my mind – Part 2

There was something really exciting about straddling you, looking at your hands tied above your head.  I knew that, if you had wanted to get away, you could.  Your being complicit in the situation made it a real turn on.  I leaned forward, lips nearly touching yours, “you look so hot like that, Dad.” You didn’t answer, but moved forward to kiss me.  I moved back, just out of your reach.  I smiled.  It was a naughty smile.  I slid backwards, down your body, until I was kneeling over you, hands at your waist.  I reached for your belt, slowly.  I was anticipating this experience now.  I unbuckled your belt, and reached for the button of your jeans, taking a moment to brush the back of my hand against your hardon.  I loved knowing that was for me.  I loved knowing that you were turned on by me.  I unbutton your jeans, then slowly pull down the zipper of your fly with my right hand, while my left strokes the swell of your b...
Read more

Quarantine

So, here's a challenge in being sequestered solo for an indeterminate period of time: Focus on day to day work? Gone. Honestly it's been a bit of a struggle for a while, but y'all there is nothing I would like more than to abandon the strictures of convention and get into some trouble. Or sleep. Or day drink. The options are not limitless, but still. The feeling that I need to continue 'business as usual' when the world is anything but usual has been hard. Maybe it's the lack of interpersonal connection, the lack of physical affection or, hell, the lack of dick, I don't know. But even for an introvert this is starting to chafe. You know what I miss? Sticking my face in someone's pits and carrying that scent in my beard. The feel of my beard rubbing against another. The feel of balls in my hand, heavy and pendulous. The taste of precum. The sight of a man's ass and the taste of him on my tongue. Warmth, connection, the feel of a chest against my back ...
Read more

Revery

Without really understanding why, I stopped in at a local bar that I rarely frequented these days.  I could say I was thirsty, but who ‘really’ goes to a bar just to slake their thirst?  I suppose, if you expand your definition of thirst, it might be closer to the truth.  Hadn’t been out in what felt like years, though really was only a couple of months.  Bar’s in the city, I’m in the ‘burbs.  It tends to cater to a clientele affecting an intentionally hyper-masculine demeanor.  What can I say, the smell of leather can be an heady scent. Up front, I will admit that I dabble more than embrace the leather lifestyle.  I attribute it to the ‘moth/flame’ mentality – the intensity of leather sex is incredibly sexy to me.  I’m both titillated and terrified.  That smell – of warm leather – took me back to an experience I had years ago.  Let me be clear here – I don’t not judge those into leather, in a way I envy them that they've found a pla...
Read more